I’m not ok but I promise I will be!
There are days when I wake up hopeful, full of life and ready to dodge all the curve balls that life has to offer. These days usually start off with me watching the sunrise and comforting myself with the thought that the sun rises, even when everyone doesn’t wake up to marvel in its beauty.
But there also days when I wake up hoping that the world has no expectations of me and that while I slept there was some cosmic explosion that left me with the superpower of invisibility. On these days I just want to unplug from life and just float away on the waves of my favourite songs.
Am I the only one who has these days? These days where the storm feels like the wind and downpour of rain is heavier than this battered umbrella that I have been clinging to just in case I’m not in the mood to dance in the rain or skip through the puddles.
When is it a good time to say “I’m not ok” or “Can you not ask anything of me today? I’m not up for it”. Better yet why do I have to pretend to be fine when I am trying to weather my personal storms that sometimes feel more like a hurricane?
Recently, I have been thinking there are alot of persons who are genuinely not ok but we muster up the courage to mask our pain with our smiles and we continue to function. I wish instead we would direct our bravery towards finding a friend, family member or just someone who genuinely cares about your wellbeing and just vent about our struggles.
I don’t like the word “struggles” sometimes, I prefer to phrase it as “opportunities for growth” and even though I wish there was another way for us to grow into the purpose that God has ordained for our lives; I pray that regardless of how difficult each day may be that we try to find the blessing and lesson that God is gifting us.
Sometimes we feel alone when we are going through our internal battles (whether it is depression, anxiety, financial instability, health issues, abuse, death of a loved one or just loneliness) and our fears (imagination) will tell us that it will never get better but God says this too shall pass. I choose to believe that it may hurt now but it will be worth it when the growing pains subside and I will be stronger for enduring.
Whenever I feel like I’m losing to my storm I like listen and sing along to my late grandfather’s favourite hymn, “What a Friend we have in Jesus”:
1. What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and grieves to bear!
What a privilege it is to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear!
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer!
2. Have we trials and temptation?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful, who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness, take it to the Lord in prayer.
3. Are we weak and heavy-laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Saviour, still our refuge-
Take it to the Lord in prayer;
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
In his arms He’ll take and shield thee,
Thou wilt find a solace there.
I hope this comforts someone as much as it has comforted me 🙂
Also remember:
2 Corinthians 4:17-18 “17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
Jer 29:11 “ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Dear God,
Thank you for this storm and for trusting me with the lessons, growth and opportunities that have blown into my life. Each time the struggle begins to feel heavy send me a reminder that it could be worse. Thank you for always knowing my limits and exercising my faith.
–I will survive this
I hope this tidbit was helpful in replenishing your soul. Feel free to share it with others and hit the like button :)